"If you're the one who misunderstands what people say, don't try messaging me. If you're that chap who doesn't get offended by a little joke and stuffs like that, we're a match. Say hi so I know you exist."

I am not someone with superhuman capacities. I'm not a superhero either nor a genie in a bottle, but I am someone who has a compassion for the needy and can keep every man's sensuous daydream burning.

I fancy blokes who look like Benedict Cumberbatch. He's handsome with a touch of mystery. I'm not attracted to men who have a predictable character because that's where the game ends. Crazy as it may seem, but this pussy of mine only becomes sexually...

I am the kind of gal who never gets contented with just one lad. I prefer to be with two or maybe three of them. I am not really sure why but I guess that's because I enjoy being the center of attention of numerous lads.

Turning my long list of fantasies into reality has taken me years and years but I am slowly ticking each one off. Would anyone fancy to help an old lady out? I promise to make sure to reward you handsomely.

Woke up and realized that I'm still single and haven't done it for yonks, let's say been years. I'm not barking or a high maintenance quine. Just a bint who fancies a food-loving and ace man when it comes to shagging. It is also dishy to find a man ...